Sunday, October 13, 2019

Humor Spoof

These are the notes for a Humor and Wellness talk planned for 10/13/19 at the


Unitarian Universalist Church of the Lakes

Watch David and the talk on YouTube:


Resources for assistance when your humor is low.

Caryn Standal (and team)
Child & Family Therapeutic Systems 

Sandy Walden - Grief Coach

Gail Vella - Laughter Yoga


__________________________________________
Humor Me
Thanks to Jody Pogo 
Would you like to speak on humor?
“No. Too huge.”
“There are others.”
“OK”
"Pick something."
"Health or Wellness?"

Both I guess ...
Complicated or Nuanced?
If you are pondering this at all you are probably in pretty good shape.
"You are perfect as you are. And you could use a little work." an old zen saying.
The zen in me follows up with this: What if the work is play?

 When I dipped into this humor question I began to feel like a snake oil salesman. Is there anything that does not improve with a sense of humor?

Health = baseline pluses and minuses
In what realms? Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual

 Wellness feels like an upgrade to Health 
Perhaps we can call it Wealth

More humor - Less Humor Healthy - Unhealthy
The Back Side

 depression, drama, sadness, seriousness, tragedy, unhappiness
illness, sickness, disease, disorder, malady, feebleness, frailness, weakness

Resources
Sandy Walden - Grief Coach Burlington
Caryn - Therapy and Counseling 101 W. Evergreen @ Fiddlesticks
Gail Vella - Laughter Yoga

 Learned quick wit from my father - Mother yelling . him jazzing the nurses.

Butterflies? A friend asked me - Not since I cut down on deep-fried caterpillars. Deflective
“And then when I was three ...” “How about them Brewers?”

 Humor - good, bad, fake
sarcasm, put downs, manipulations, racist, sexist,

Good SPECTRUM
Slapstick to quiet amusement 
dry, wry, dead pan, dead serious, funeral, eases the pain

Why humor? Raising the vibration.
Monsters Inc. found that they could get more energy capturing the laughter of children rathern then making them scream.


As we get closer to Love we let go of judgements, comparisons,

Timing. Topic. Audience.
Set up. Punchline.
Long form
Sideways truth in the moment
Robin Williams, Norman Cousins, Masuru Emoto, Byron Katie, Richard Rohr, Monsters, Inc.

Search terms - Humor and Truth - Kindness - Gratitude Health - Empathy -
How to? attention
How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice Practice Practice

 flip the script Byron Katie
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” Socrates / Plato
“The unlived life is not worth examining.” David White

We don't laugh because we're happy, we are happy because we laugh.
- William James

 amusement, clowning, comicality, drollery, facetiousness, flippancy, farce, fun, gag, gaiety, happiness, jest, jesting, jocularity, joke, joyfulness, kidding, levity, lightness, playfulness, pleasantry, tomfoolery, whimsy, wisecrack, wit
Antonyms for humor - depression, drama, sadness, seriousness, tragedy, unhappiness
“Studying humor is like dissecting a frog — you may know a lot but you end up with a dead frog.” - Mark Twain
"Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind." - E. B. White

 How to do ...
Butterflies?
Not since I cut down on the deep-fried caterpillars.
And then when I was three ... How about them Brewers?
Monsters Inc.
I noticed at the end they all discovered that they got more energy from laughter then they did from making children scream.

 Number of muscles Smile
12 or frown 11
but.... practice makes them
stronger and easier to use
https://zidbits.com/2011/09/does-it-really-take-more-muscles-to-frown-than-to-smile/
 Quotes humor
“The first step towards true enlightenment is to lighten up on yourself.”
― Bashar

 “A sense of humor is essentially a sense of perspective. It is an understanding that comes from a true sense of proportion. Humor is not a matter of laughing at things, but of understanding them. At its highest it is a part of understanding life. It is an ability to see ourselves as we are, and to smile at the comic figure that the biggest of us cuts in strutting across life's stage.”
― Nivard Kinsella, Unprofitable Servants: Conferences on Humility
“Surviving dangerous times require a sense of humor.” ― Robert Ferrigno, Heart of the Assassin
    
 “Most preachers say the nature of God is unknowable, but I'm certain of one thing at least. God almighty has a sense of humor.”
― Robert Ferrigno, Heart of the Assassin
“Ability to laugh at evil, to relativize symbols without dismissing them is usually a sign of a rather healthy person. Puritans and reformers can never laugh.”
― Richard Rohr, Adam's Return: The Five Promises of Male Initiation
    
 “Life is too important to take seriously.” - Corky Siegel
“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.” - Audrey Hepburn

 “If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.”
- Mahatma Gandhi
“Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.” - Francis Bacon

 “Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.” - W. C. Fields

This bottom portion is edited down directly from one of the links.
The Benefits of Laughter and Humor Snake Oil Salesman
Physical health benefits
Boosts immunity, Lowers stress hormones, Decreases pain, Relaxes your muscles, Prevents heart disease
Mental health benefits
Adds joy and zest to life, Eases anxiety and tension, Relieves stress, Improves mood, Strengthens resilience
Social benefits
Strengthens relationships, Attracts others to us, Enhances teamwork, Helps defuse conflict, Promotes group bonding, Laughter helps you stay mentally healthy, Laughter makes you feel good.

 Laughter stops distressing emotions. You can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when you’re laughing.
Laughter helps you relax and recharge. It reduces stress and increases energy, enabling you to stay focused and accomplish more.
Laughter shifts perspective, allowing you to see situations in a more realistic, less threatening light.
Laughter draws you closer to others, which can have a profound effect on all aspects of your mental and emotional health.
Laughter brings people together and strengthens relationships.

 Sharing humor is half the fun—in fact, most laughter doesn’t come from hearing jokes, but rather simply from spending time with friends and family. And it’s this social aspect that plays such an important role in the health benefits of laughter.
Humor and playful communication strengthen our relationships.
Be more spontaneous. Humor gets you out of your head and away from your troubles.
Let go of defensiveness. Laughter helps you forget resentments, judgments, criticisms, and doubts.
Release inhibitions. Your fear of holding back is pushed aside.
Express your true feelings. Deeply felt emotions are allowed to rise to the surface.

 Use humor to resolve disagreements and tension in your relationship
Here are some ways to start:
Smile. Smiling is the beginning of laughter, and like laughter, it’s contagious.
Count your blessings. Literally make a list. The simple act of considering the positive aspects of your life will distance you from negative thoughts that block humor and laughter.
When you hear laughter, move toward it. When you hear laughter, seek it out and ask, “What’s funny?”
Spend time with fun, playful people.

 Bring humor into conversations. Ask people, “What’s the funniest thing that happened to you today? This week? In your life?”
Simulated laughter
To add simulated laughter into your own life, search for laugh yoga or laugh therapy groups.
Creating opportunities to laugh
Watch a funny movie, TV show, or YouTube video
Invite friends or co-workers out to a comedy club
Read the funny pages

 Seek out funny people
Share a good joke or a funny story
Check out your bookstore’s humor section Host game night with friends
Play with a pet
Go to a “laughter yoga” class
Goof around with children
Do something silly
Make time for fun activities
Tips for developing your sense of humor An essential ingredient for developing your sense of humor is to learn not to take yourself too seriously and laugh at your own mistakes and foibles.
How to develop your sense of humor Laugh at yourself. Share your embarrassing moments. The best way to take yourself less seriously is to talk about times when you took yourself too seriously.

 Attempt to laugh at situations rather than bemoan them.
Surround yourself with reminders to lighten up.
Remember funny things that happen.
Don’t dwell on the negative. Try to avoid negative people and don’t dwell on news stories, entertainment, or conversations that make you sad or unhappy.
Find your inner child. Pay attention to children and try to emulate them—after all, they are the experts on playing, taking life lightly, and laughing at ordinary things.
Deal with stress. Stress can be a major impediment to humor and laughter, so it’s important to keep your stress levels in check.

 "Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.”
- Norman Cousins
“The journey of a thousand smiles may begin with a single giggle.” - says me, David White.
Now, let's go ....


LINKS















GOOD GOOD 



OKAY

OKAY




good



Humor Quotes




Qq

IMPROVE





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A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road. - Henry Ward Beecher

Norman Cousins 
cancer comedy




"Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.” Norman Cousins





Friday, October 11, 2019

I love you poem

_________________________ 



I love you poem

You know I do not know
Any of your dark secrets
I do not know
The things that you
Do not like about yourself

And so when I say
I love you
Know that I do not know 
how to say it any better

The feeling that I have 
when I’m in your presence.

_________________________

DLWhite
Poem
10/11/2019

Thursday, October 10, 2019

And ... we're off



The Beautiful Route is the working title of my third Drive Time book now in the works.

I've been having a bit of trouble getting started. It's possible that the podcast component might be a block for me.

Today, today finally, I remembered that I had been blogging the stories before I compiled the first Drive Time. I remember that the second Drive Time book was more difficult because I was not posting the chapters as they happened. That memory was the breakthrough today. I can move ahead now.

Stephanie was in again yesterday morning. Glad when I saw her name on the ride board. She allowed that she ... also ... as well.

She was reading a Joe Hill book. He was in town the other day and she was going to his book signing. There were people on the sidewalk ahead of her; walking slower. When she got along side of them and found out it was Joe Hill himself and his friends. Small world.

"Thank goodness you didn’t knock him down into traffic." I said.

She reads a good deal of fiction. And I can’t quite name the genre but Stephen King is part of it. I'm pretty much nonfiction. We have crossed over near Buddhism. We have traded titles and authors and blogs. Always something new to read.

The first time I met her she was in the backseat reading.  It was me and a little old lady chatting up front. And that one was going home first. And when we got there Stephanie said "Hey wait, I want to ride up front. I need some conversation."

The idea that she wanted to chat with me… well, how lovely.

She’d been reading a book on leadership that her management was encouraging her to read. That was a good reason right there to close the book and jump up front.

She first recommended Even a Stone Can be a Teacher: Learning and Growing from the Experience of Everyday Life by Sheldon Kopp (the author that wrote If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him: The Pilgrimage Of Psychotherapy Patients.)

After the second time we met she made a specific lovely comment about her driver on the post-service survey she filled out. I don’t get very many of those either. That was very nice.

This is the last time somehow it came out that I also had written some books. She was surprised. Apparently I didn’t mention it before. I don't insist. I'm not busy selling books. I've already heard most of what I have to say.

Anyway, she seemed interested and I gave her one of my cards. I told her my books were in the Milwaukee County Library System. The next day she thanked me for sharing my info and shared a short list of blogs that she likes to read.

It’s nice to meet someone that you have a little bit in common with.

Oh and this… She actually lives closer to another Toyota car dealer. She’s had a couple of oil changes done there since we last met.  “It’s just not the same." she said, "If you ever quit here I’m probably not coming back.”

Isn't that sweet? Thanks for the compliment, Stephanie.



Monday, September 23, 2019

Workshop Curriculum

How to Do Happy Better
Oct. 1st 2019 6-8pm
Hamilton High School

If you missed it ...
1. there are several sessions coming up in Feb. 2020...
2. Audio curriculum in audio - https://soundcloud.com/davidlwhite/session-do-happy-better
3. the text outline is below.



Workshop Curriculum - available in audio soon.

Hi. My name is David L White.

A bit about me briefly. The Muse sometimes wakes me at night and may distract me during the day. I write it down and speak it out. Besides Do Happy Better, I've written a couple short volumes of poetry and two books titled Drive Time; real people vignettes from my day job. I'm working on a third, The Beautiful Route, and will release audio bits on SoundCloud as they are completed. I hope to get this third finished in 2019. I am married 31 years to a teacher of Spanish, live in Milwaukee, dabble in watercolor and guitar. I have been interested in healing modalities and am launching www.gigahug.com . There's a set of links to my online presence at:
www.davidlwhite.org

Thanks for coming.

Does everyone have paper and pencil or pen?

How. To. Do. Happy. Better.

I could have named it:
How To Do Unhappy Less Often.

Anyway ...

We hope to define some terms.
We will write. Some of us may share aloud. Or not.
We will write more. I'll set a timer.
We may, some of us, stare at the walls, or ceiling. Perfect.

I hope to present a couple writing prompts, memory exercises, quotations, observations and a poem about a journey.

I'd like to check some assumptions before we begin in case we need to wiggle in one direction or another.

LIST - Two minute timer
#1 What do you expect to get from this session?
#2 What do you expect to give?

Time for sharing. I'll start.

I would like you to be able to increase positive attention to and for yourself.

You share ....

Okay ....

How to Do Happy Better
Happy is the bait. Better is the hook. And Do is How you reel it into your bucket.

My observation about the $11 billion self-help industry is that most consumers really do not become the creators that the authors encourage. They may buy a book. It doesn't work by itself. They buy another one.

In most, if not all, of the self-help books I’ve read, the author invites or insists that the reader make a list. At the very least sit down and write a list.

At the very first, it is not about the writing. Some of it is about the sitting down. Taking time out for oneself is critical. And it’s the first thing to do.

So, I have been saying write your own book. It seems to me, that the people I said that to, think the process is done, the product is in hand. They wonder how to market, or how to get an agent for book signings, or how to be on the radio, or basically, how to sell books. It's not that kind of book. And the book is not yet written.

In the session there will be writing prompts and exercises for those who need a little help getting started. This is a self-help book that you will write for yourself using notes that you assemble. It will be a compilation, a compendium, or a collection of notes you’ve made regarding your wonderful life.

As with so many books, the authors share the works of others indicating that so-and-so had a case study, and so-and-so had a quotation, and the other person had a book that said this about that.

This takes some of the burden off you. You do not have to produce everything. You may wish to compile the beautiful things from your own life. Quotations, authors, uplifting moments, inspiring people, music, whatever makes you happy. This is a book about you and happy. Collect those things.

Yes. I have said write your own book. I will back up a little bit and even define what how I think writing goes.

Writing is drafting and editing. Get it out and clean it up - over and over. I’ve been saying that for years and it finally occurred to me that there is something that comes before drafting and editing. What, you ask?

Exactly. Curiosity itself. It is the asking of the question. And it is the organization of the answer. Ask and answer. Call and response.


If it is your book, for you, you don't have to do a lot of organization or editing. You can use code words, acronyms, have your own language. You can write upside down. You can write in the margins, sketches, doodles, to do lists. You can do anything. The point is the contemplation, the pondering, and the meditation that goes in to paying attention to yourself in the first place.



Memory Exercise - 10 minutes
One: list of the self-help books you have read, or you owned, or you mean to read or reread.

Here's a short list of self-help books as a reminder.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon hill

The Road Less Traveled by MD. Scott Peck

As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Two: List the takeaways from those books that you have incorporated into your life. What do you practice because it seemed like a good idea and you started doing it?

You do not necessarily have to list what practice came from what book. At this point it doesn’t matter to me.

TIME FOR SHARING

I think it’s important to define how to do happy better. How is important. An alternate question might be why.

HAPPY can be extended to mean peace and joy. Happy could be extended to mean invigoration and exhilaration. It can be those things that take you into flow time. It doesn't matter exactly what you’re doing but it is lovely wonderful and time has stopped.

It’s important to take a look at how BETTER can be viewed. Let's remember that it is America where culture and capitalism have trained us to consume. We have been taught that bigger is better, faster is better, more is better… But ... only better is better and only you know what that is for you. And so when you are thinking of better… put those things on your list.

And then there is the DO that appears in the title. What are you doing? What are you doing that helps you? What do you do that puts obstacles in your way? What do you do that allows others to get you off track? The doing is important and I might add that that leads us into the idea and definition of practice.

Most of us probably think that practice is something separate from everything else. We practice the saxophone or basketball. I want to expand the definition to include whatever we do. Practice is repetition. Those things we repeat more often get more deeply ingrained. So practice could be a negative mechanism.



WHAT DO YOU WANT ???
Exercise
15 minute keyword sketch


Take a piece of paper and make a three column list. Date it somewhere on the top.

Write YES on the top of the left column.
Write NO on the top of the middle column.
Write MAYBE in the middle of the middle column.
Yes, I want. No, I do not want. Maybe is maybe later.

Write KEEP on top of the far right column It's for items you already have that you wish to keep.

When we think of what we want we generally add things that we don’t have forgetting that we already have plenty and we may not like it taken away from us. This is a doorway into gratitude. And gratitude is a large luxurious place. It is good to remember these things you right on your list.

ADVANCED EXERCISE

What do you want specifically? Make a sheet and date it.

What do you want from relationships?
What do you want from community?
What do you want mentally?
What do you want emotionally?
What do you want spiritually?

The question WHY might have some interest from time to time.


RESOURCES

The Artists Way by Julia Camaron
Any of several books by Natalie Goldberg; Wild Mind comes to mind.
Just Write It is a Meetup group in Milwaukee;

There are people in that group that are writing autobiographies,  memoirs, fiction, screenplays, scripts, or comics. They meet once a week for a couple of hours in a couple different locations. The session is 40 minutes of writing and 10 minutes of social interaction. Rinse and repeat.

Schedule time for yourself. My tool is writing, daydreaming, sketching, mind mapping and to do lists. Occasionally get things get done.

Mind mapping? Visual diagrams.

EXERCISE - 15 minutes
Star map constellation.

The point of the exercise is to build you a shape that will become your personal icon. Or one of your personal icons. The exercise is to take a blank piece of paper and make relatively random dots in a large portion of the page. The dots can be bigger or smaller. They represent stars in the sky. And once you have finished the dots you can turn the paper around and around and around there is no top or bottom at this point. And then you can look for a shape by connecting straight lines.

Think of a keyword that represents something important in your life. Now, name the star points.

And now you have a personal constellation. It can be your secret. Tape it up on the wall etc. And when people ask you about it you can say it’s a postcard from home. You could also think up something more clever than that.

Asking experts is fine. It is highly recommended. But they don’t know everything. You have to assimilate their input and find out what value it has for you. For you.


Happy Exercise
List things that were fun as a kid.
What have in not done in way too long?


Five minutes
............................


The Milwaukee Recreation catalog indicated that there would be a guided meditation. I think I will write read one of my poems instead.

............................

Alice Moon Walk

The journey of a thousand miles
Begins ... Continues ... Detours
... Sidesteps the exotic adventure
Altogether


When I remember the countless
Midnight bare footsteps over
The linoleum kitchen floor
To the window over the sink
I may have been to the
Moon and back
Over twenty two years

We might be temporarily fooled
By the glossy, seductive,
Well-produced brochure
Advertising the thousand miles

The journey sounds like a fresh start
To somewhere new. Just do it. Go see.

The journey of a thousand miles
Imagines itself a spatial journey
Yet, if you have come far enough

To recognize this mesmerizing vista,
You have already been gone
A very long time

Your journey is folded in your pocket
A well worn map and laundry
list, to do, to do, to do

Pace your self
Massage your feet
Alice awaits

_________________________________

David L White January 22 2017
1:45 am


.......


Questions and observations at the end. Sharing. How was it for you? Would you come back? Would you find a study buddy to go out and have coffee and be alone together? Are you moved to pay more attention to yourself? Do you have some light on now about you and doing happy better?

Quotations

"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." - Carlos Castaneda

"It’s a simple and generous rule of life that whatever you practice, you will improve at." Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic

"Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon or too late. You don’t have to like it… It’s just easier if you do." - Byron Katie

"Find out for yourself what are the possessions and ideals that you do not desire. By knowing what you do not want, by elimination, you will unburden the mind, and only then will it understand the essential which is ever there." Jiddu Krishnamurthi

"Make a list of what is really important to you. Embody it." - John Kabat-Zinn

"Do whatever brings you life, then. Follow your own fascinations, obsessions, and compulsions. Trust them. Create whatever causes a revolution in your heart." - Elizabeth Gilbert

"There is a secret for greater self control, the science points to one thing: the power of paying attention." - Kelly McGonagle

"Things are as they are. Looking out into The Universe at night, we make no comparison between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations." - Alan Watts

"The deepest secret is that life is not a process of discovery, but the process of creation. You are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself a new. Seek therefore, not to find out who you are, but seek to determine who you want to be." Neil Donald Walsh

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.” - Woody Allen.

It may not be the percentage. It may not be the success. You are already showing up somewhere. Just like in real estate: Location. Location. Location. So, ask yourself, where are you consistently showing up? Are there too many places unrelated to your success?

Speaking of showing up thank you for showing up here. If you are attending the actual session please tell the powers that be in your exit survey. You’d like to do this again, right? I would. Thank you once again. Happy trails. Let's go do happy better.



Tuesday, August 13, 2019

The Beautiful Route

The Beautiful Route is the working title of my current project and third Drive Time book.

Short vignettes about the people I meet continue to amaze me and enlarge my definition of 'the' world. Having time on the road allows me to put the pieces together.

I'll be recording the stories as audio files or podcasting depending on one's definition, as well as, writing the stories of people I meet in my day job.

I am close to choosing SoundCloud as my host and audio provider.
https://soundcloud.com/davidlwhite/


This blog/site is meant to be a starting point for links to my projects. Please see the Links link to the right.